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| Who could resist this guy? |
Recently, my LinkedIn newsfeed has been chock full of tips
on how to make me successful. Or, rather, a form of successful that equates to
the weird ideal of a workaholic life coach or CEO.
So, I decided it was time to take back my morning, and write
the definitive list of what it takes
to be successful in life.
1. Go to
sleep and stay asleep. On almost every single “what it takes to be
successful” list is a gentle admonishment to get your lazy self out of bed
earlier. Despite flying in the face of virtually every scientific study on the
subject, somehow ambitious people have gotten it into their heads that waking
up hours before dawn is a good thing.
Waking
up a 4am is insane. Unless, I guess, you go to sleep at 8pm every night.
Which brings me to my next point.
2. Watch
Million Dollar Listing or Project Runway. Why? Because they’re fun. Life is
about more than work and thinking about the impact of technology on the global
economy. Watching great reality TV is like drinking coffee: why wouldn’t you do
it? For the record, Million Dollar Listing Miami is superior to the other two
franchises.
3. Rescue
a dog. Or a cat if that’s your thing. Why? Because good people like
animals. A dog makes you a better person. Gus, my partner in crime, always
cheers me up after a bad day. Who doesn’t love a good game of “Rawr” (which
involves me chasing him around the house while yelling “rawwwwrrr”). And pets
help you get your steps in!
4. Go
get a drink. All work and no play makes you dull as dirt. Smart people know
that social time is as important as work time, and that being the company
wallflower won’t get you anywhere. Many a disagreement has been resolved over a
pint, and wine-o-clock has saved more than one team’s morale.
5. Play
Cards Against Humanity, because that game, to butcher Benjamin Franklin, is
proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Ultimately, successful people remember my favorite quote by
Dr. Seuss: “why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
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